My Ramblings

21..  20... 19... 1. Anybody would find a dainty looking girl in the middle of a park under a tree counting from 21 and end at 1 only to start again at 21 atleast a bit surreal. But the kid sitting besides me was not. He knew it. "You are stupid! You have to count to 30. You cannot just start from 21." I tried to humor him,"And why is it?" "Haven't you ever been to school?", he retorted, "Is 21 your favourite because mine is 1." "No I was dwelling in possibility", how could a kindergartner understand what I was saying. I wanted to not disappoint the child but nothing else was on or in my mind. He squelched. I hurried to try to explain what I meant,"I let them go to see what stayed. And I continue to wait." "Like birds?", he was quick. The simile applied. But no it was not. The birds are freed with no expectation. I have all my expectations rolled up in the tight grip of my fist with the only hope...

It pains when I am right  nevertheless I am  I know you will leave because they always have One selfishness on my part  On highway you move out the exit the moment  I give you a pass I don't want to see the seethe  in your eyes they often roll down especially when one of us could partake of the mercy so unfound I am not a saint not even close just that fairness is my heart's desire Seeing you down that path  gives me an unwanted hope.  no one has won against the fire  burns and bruises has everyone suffered this won't be same because only one would be emerging from between those flames. I am happy I could do it on my own no help required no mercy plea with God a hurt of you temporary to save agony later what of me another truth in my ledger ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                 ...

She woke up. But there was something amiss. It was all light when she had gone to sleep but now it was charcoal-dark.  Almost too dark. Eerie. It must have been a long nap otherwise how can a 3 o'clock afternoon suddenly turn into 12 o' clock dreary nightlike. It certainly didn't feel long though.  Must be one of those days she had fallen on her bed after incessant all-nighters without realizing what they were doing to her body.  She tried to look for the switch to light the room but couldn't find it. Even tried grabbing her glasses from the side-table but  the table was not within her reach either. Everything was out-of-place. Only thing she was sure of was the hard floor she was on. With every passing moment it seemed more and more like a ground than her bed.  What was happening? She shouted, yelled but the energy seemed to disappear in the dark. There was no one that could hear her. She felt a chill in her bones. What she had only heard of was finally taki...

She asked me to come along to pick out the dress.  "I needed someone with an honest opinion and I couldn't think of anyone better than you", she asked me to come along. It was the least I could do for the person he was going to marry. I had a good taste for sure. I could have gifted her one but it didn't feel right. No one should have their wedding gown gifted. By anybody. Slightly off-shoulder, bodice laced with flowers all over and a short skirt with the enormous train. We knew no matter how many we tried that was the one she was supposed to take.  The day of wedding arrived. The flowers, the music, the bouquet, the caterer everything and everyone was present. The seating was perfect. I had spent quite a lot of time trying to seat the compatibles together and the non-compatibles far across the hall for the reception. But the photographer, I could not find him. I couldn't let him ruin my efforts to organizing the wedding. He was still on his way when the c...

Her fits were worsening or may be they were same. Calling them worse wouldn't have made any difference, only his worries about her health would multiply. Nothing else.  He played his guitar. He sang too. But when she would join in, he would know she was back.   "I may run you through the wall!", she had told him on their date set up by their parents. A strue believer like her, she couldn't find a single guy to pass her basic tests - she had designed them personally. And as of him, he had given universe a fair share of chances but it never brought her to him before.  "... and how do you think I should respond to this ?", he was caught off-guard. His voice fumbled.  "I don't know. You can always surprise me!", the despair of another hopeless meet was all across her face.  It had been 7 years since that day when she wore the red lehenga with loud yet subtle golden zari and he donned a sherwani of her choice, an elegant white piece and a...

"It’s been long enough", he would look into the mirror and remind himself of that. Barely was he managing to make a new life, a world far from the darkness and the dullness of his beautiful countryside he never would have left otherwise. The world could be so vengeful. What was he supposed to do with all the memories of his life till the day he escaped? Those were all etched in his mind. Every day he could feel her mother whispering yet yelling his name into his ears, “Jay would you ever get ready on time?”  “No, I am Seth and I am from Minnesota”, he started chanting. The many layers of lie he had been loading up had actually become the blanket to keep him safe, from every eye that may look deeper into his genes but his soul. He readied himself for another day at school.  “Hey man, meet Jay. He’s a transfer from Kennedy!” Smitty introduced Seth to Jay. The world suddenly turned into negative. The end of his lies, he was now exposed. How could Smitty pos...