My Ramblings

इस बज़्म-ए-दुनियाँ में सब खिलाड़ी हैं सब महज़ खेल और लोग खिलाड़ी है बस जीत ही रह गयी ख़्वाहिश जो सबकी हार कर जीतने की खुशी का मलाल शायद सिर्फ़ हमें है। मलमली बातों की फेहरिस्त में जब आया मेरा नाम थोड़ा शरमाये थोड़ा भरमाये थोड़ा नसीब पे मुस्काए। ख़ुद को बयाँ करने की ज़रूरत न होगी क्या डूबती कश्ती को सहारा मिल गया था। रह न जाये कोई शिक़वा सो कर दिया ख़ुद को बयां वो आप थे जो इल्लत गिना लाइलाज छोड़ गए मेरे हुज़ूर। रोक दो मेरी हर ख़्वाहिश को मेरे ज़हन में ऐ खुदा, जो आँसू बन वो निसार हुए तो उनके कदमों तले रौंदे जाएंगे। बातों का क्या है बातें तो बहोत होती हैं। बातें तो वो हैं जो बिन बोल समझ ली जाती हैं। कभी इक़रार न कर पाए कभी इक़रार कर भी न पाएं। पर कसम उस ख़ुदा की तुम्हारे इश्क़ पे यकीं न कर पाए।

The voice everywhere just calm. All you can here are intermittent chirps. You are alive here and maybe everything else is dead. Be that as it may but you hear it. The beat of his heart alloyed with yours. All you need is a gentle sway, a gentle hum and a gentle stroke. A night of only joy. Taps and hops jumping around. Twirling by your fingers My head resting under your chin. For me to lie in when I am tired. Only to rush back to the floor. Because I won't fall today. My breaths are finally unimpaired. Let the night just continue. You will leave with springs in your feet. I don't want to drag away my feet. My God let the night continue, For it may be the last night I am true. The smell of air and you For when I pressed myself against you My eyes are closed but it is no dream. Yea no apprehension I so easily brim. Oh the perfection finally! My fantasy met my reality. Circles and circles I am out, Only wish we were here forever. I am carefree b...

"Did it feel like a demon was coming out of you maybe to defend you?", she quizzed me. I looked at her confused. My face must have been staring at her blank. I could  feel a giant spout pointing at her nose. It was mundane and generic but no less scary. I was still not used to it. "No, that was not. A demon. No.", I had only one friend then and it was that. "Why would you hate yourself then?", I was so confused at the bombardment of questions. "I don't hate myself. I just don't stand... Can't stand them who wouldn't wait to even listen to me", I needed to lie down a little and chat with myself over the regimen I have been carrying out. "Are you scared Em?", this felt like a burn through my metaphorical kevlar. Ofcourse I was. I always am. "Ofcourse I am not. Haters don't deserve my attention. " "Hmm...", she tapped her pen twice at the sheets she had in her lap. "And why is t...